That question — 6 words… It was enough to get me out of the stupor in which I’ve been, blog-wise. It was a recent comment from Audrey of the lovely, lovely blog, homerunballerina. She was/is my inspiration for blogging about my love for crafts and clothes-thrifting. Getting a comment from her, no matter how short, was like getting a gentle pixie dust shower from a blog fairy. (Clearly, I have lost my touch for metaphors and for writing.) So, many thanks to you Audrey: blog fairy, outfit magic mix-and-matcher, and culinary concoction-aire.
So, where did I go? I haven’t touched my craft projects in months. I’ve written nothing but song lyrics. No seriously exciting thrifting done recently. The pollen season stunted my daily morning run progress and now I feel FAT. I let my hair grow long and just snip off the ends of my bangs occasionally so I won’t bump into furniture. Even on a gig night, which used to be the best reason for me to dress up fun and fabulous, recently, I’ve gotten too lazy to mix up my outfits. I wear the same pair of black boots despite having a THOUSAND pairs of shoes of all styles and shapes, according to my mother (she exaggerates, of course). One time, we had a show and I said, “Oh, to hell with it” and wore a ratty T-shirt and faded blue jeans. I guess you can say Man Hands Lizzie has been and IS IN a rotten rut.
Do you know: I HAVEN’T EVEN WORN THE STUFF I MADE recently? I’d try my floral fascinator/headband or beaded jewelry on and then go, “Blerghh. Nevermind.” Then take them off. I don’t know why, but the joy of wearing my projects went kaput along with the joy of making them.
I go through my blog from time and time and am amazed. I did this and that? I wrote this? I wore that and posed that way? I think I made nice things and looked kind-of-good enough for me to allow myself to post my pictures. But I go through my entries and almost feel like I’m reading the words and ideas and looking at a different person.
I am not depressed. I am not unhappy. I’m a little unwell from pollen (darn you, pollenssss!!!) allergies but I’m actually having a great time even if I don’t have enough energy to show my enthusiasm. I’m feeling … very mellow. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.
I’m just in a rut. I need a new body — or want my old one back. Maybe it’s time to shave my head again! (Which I did some 11 years ago. Just cut off my pigtails at midnight, wore a bonnet the next day so my mom wouldn’t know what I did, and went to the barbershop — to the barber that shaved the heads of the ROTC boys and told him I wanted to be completely bald. He acted like I asked him to cut my legs off and tut-tutted the whole time he was shaving me. But, in the end, he stepped back and said I had a nicely-shaped head.) Maybe I should get rid of all my clothes and start fresh. I’m in that stage where I can’t get rid of my old clothes because I know I can get back in them once I lose weight. But in the meantime, they are taking up space in my closet, waiting… waiting…
What to do?