Where do You Go, My Lovely?

That question — 6 words… It was enough to get me out of the stupor in which I’ve been, blog-wise.   It was a recent comment from Audrey of the lovely, lovely blog, homerunballerina.  She was/is my inspiration for blogging about my love for crafts and clothes-thrifting.  Getting a comment from her, no matter how short, was like getting a gentle pixie dust shower from a blog fairy.  (Clearly, I have lost my touch for metaphors and for writing.)  So, many thanks to you Audrey: blog fairy, outfit magic mix-and-matcher, and culinary concoction-aire.

So, where did I go?  I haven’t touched my craft projects in months.  I’ve written nothing but song lyrics.  No seriously exciting thrifting done recently.  The pollen season stunted my daily morning run progress and now I feel FAT.  I let my hair grow long and just snip off the ends of my bangs occasionally so I won’t bump into furniture.  Even on a gig night, which used to be the best reason for me to dress up fun and fabulous, recently, I’ve gotten too lazy to mix up my outfits.  I wear the same pair of black boots despite having a THOUSAND pairs of shoes of all styles and shapes, according to my mother (she exaggerates, of course).  One time, we had a show and I said, “Oh, to hell with it” and wore a ratty T-shirt and faded blue jeans.  I guess you can say Man Hands Lizzie has been and IS IN a rotten rut.

Do you know: I HAVEN’T EVEN WORN THE STUFF I MADE recently?  I’d try my floral fascinator/headband or beaded jewelry on and then go, “Blerghh. Nevermind.”  Then take them off.  I don’t know why, but the joy of wearing my projects went kaput along with the joy of making them.

I go through my blog from time and time and am amazed.  I did this and that?  I wrote this?  I wore that and posed that way?  I think I made nice things and looked kind-of-good enough for me to allow myself to post my pictures.  But I go through my entries and almost feel like I’m reading the words and ideas and looking at a different person.

One of my favorite thrifted skirts (for less than a dollar). It's reptilian and forgiving and goes well with black. 🙂

I am not depressed.  I am not unhappy.  I’m a little unwell from pollen (darn you, pollenssss!!!) allergies but I’m actually having a great time even if I don’t have enough energy to show my enthusiasm.  I’m feeling … very mellow.  I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

I’m just in a rut.   I need a new body — or want my old one back.  Maybe it’s time to shave my head again! (Which I did some 11 years ago.  Just cut off my pigtails at midnight, wore a bonnet the next day so my mom wouldn’t know what I did, and went to the barbershop — to the barber that shaved the heads of the ROTC boys and told him I wanted to be completely bald.  He acted like I asked him to cut my legs off and tut-tutted the whole time he was shaving me.  But, in the end, he stepped back and said I had a nicely-shaped head.)  Maybe I should get rid of all my clothes and start fresh.  I’m in that stage where I can’t get rid of my old clothes because I know I can get back in them once I lose weight.  But in the meantime, they are taking up space in my closet, waiting… waiting…

What to do?



4 thoughts on “Where do You Go, My Lovely?

  1. audrey says:

    just wanted to say i completely know how you feel. sometime in the last year my metabolism decided to slow to a more reasonable rate and i really miss the old me. but sometimes not being able to dwell as much on aesthetics leads to more productivity in other areas – and with you singin’ all over atlanta, it sounds like you’ve done just that, so bravo!

    • You help me see the good in everything, Audrey. Sometimes I feel like I’m inside a bubble and can’t see beyond my miseries. 🙂 Thank you so much! And you look just as lovely as when you first started blogging! 🙂

  2. Go easy on yourself, first off. Sometimes ruts are just where you need to be, since they give you a calm moment to examine everything else around you.

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