Love and Peace

2009 was a very eventful year for me.

After months of discussions and weighing, B. and I married.  We were together for 3 weeks then he left for the US to teach while I finished my studies and contract as a high school music teacher.  In February-March, I was in Korea to represent my country in an all-traditional instrument orchestra.  I graduated, finished my year as a music teacher, went back to Korea for another concert, then began the arduous preparations to come here.  I packed my whole life in one week but took months to make peace with leaving my mom, my nieces, other family members including my dogs, friends, work, established routines, my school, many of my things, and what was good about my country.  And most importantly, because B. and I spent little time living together, I had to make peace with being married.

I’ve had several relationships before I met B.  After the naivete of my early 20’s had faded away, I stopped ‘waiting’ for marriage.  I turned down a couple of proposals and, after a while, questioned the relevance of having a steady relationship in my life that wouldn’t result in marriage anyway.  Does one really need a boyfriend?

Then, when I was content in being without a man, B. turned up.

It’s weird and wondrous how some things come to you when you’ve made peace with not having it, or when you’ve never really wanted it in the first place.  I’ve been told that I’ve been lucky because I had done things many people can only daydream about.  But most of these things, I never asked for so I don’t feel particularly lucky.

But with B., I consider myself bestowed upon a profound gift.   He is my mirror, comfort, laughter, joy, wisdom, and peace.  My best friend and match.

I am very lucky indeed.

Dress:
Cop Copine, thrifted back home, and shortened by me (it was ankle-length and awkward when I got it).  The gray mesh sleeves is part of the dress and one reason why I adore this dress.
Gray tights:  $2, Marshall’s
Purple Suede Ankle Boots:   Le Saunde, thrifted brand new back home!

On B.: White long-sleeves with purple and pink stripes:  Ben Sherman, $37, SIMS

I love a man who can wear pink.

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9 thoughts on “Love and Peace

  1. cato says:

    oooh. haven’t had time to read blogs but i’m currently taking a break. 🙂 i like this post. 😀

    there’s always something about adolescent girls and thoughts of love. i’ve noticed that some young teens get obsessed with the idea. i know i was obsessed with the idea. but the older i get, the more i learn about real relationships, and the longer i’m waiting for even someone remotely ‘compatible’ to start courting… well. 🙂

    i still have no idea what God has in store for me but i do think i’ll survive being single if He wants me to be that. 🙂

    I have no doubt that you will. It’s difficult to let go of romantic ideas on love because we’ve been surrounded by them since we were little. But , no matter how you try to intellectualize it, you will learn about love and relationships only by experiencing them.

  2. So, this means that you will have a better 2010 than 2009! I ‘m happy you have found your match in your B.

    Thanks, Modobs! 😀

  3. Bobo says:

    I read this and I felt so inspired. I’m really so so so very happy you found that special someone made for you. You really deserve to be happy, and I’m glad you find your hubby who makes you happy. I can see it in your posts, your pictures, everything. You’re glowing with love. ❤

    And I'm in love with your purple boots 🙂

    I love and miss you always 🙂

    Naks. “Glowing with love” sounds like a Korean telenovela. Haha! Thanks, Bobo! It’s nice to know that the happiness I’m feeling is evident in my pictures. 🙂

    I miss you, too, and love you! Have a happy summer break (if you’re not doing summer classes)! I’m sure a pair of purple boots it waiting for you somewhere out there. 😛

  4. tita baby says:

    “Friendship is a priceless gift,that can’t be bought or sold, to have an understanding friend is worth far more than gold.”

    I’ve been reading your post,let not your heart be troubled, be cheerful. Whatever the weather or circumstances, dawn will break and the sun will rise.

    Love/hugs,
    Tita Baby

    Thank you for the encouraging words, Tita Baby! I hope you and the family are doing great, too. Love and hugs! 😀

  5. Bronne Dytoc says:

    hehe. me wear pink. and looking good… who did i learn ben sherman-esque style from, i wonder? hugs, my best friend

    It all started with the hat, didn’t it? Hugs, mahal ko. 🙂

  6. sara says:

    What a wonderful, uplifting post! So well written.

    And I just love those purple boots!

    Thank you, Sara. That means a lot coming from a writer. 😀

    I almost didn’t buy these boots because I felt I was going overboard with my purple footwear collection, but I’m so happy now that I did. 🙂

    • Millie says:

      I don’t think there’s such a thing as overboard with purple footwear! There certainly isn’t with bright coloured footwear in general 🙂

      I’ve never gone out and looked for a boyfriend, and I’ve been astonishingly obtuse about the whole process in general. A. sort of fell into my life when I was least expecting it, and it’s worked out fabulously so far. There’s an awful lot to be said for being comfortable in your own skin before you get involved with someone else, and so it makes sense to me that so many people I know with partners had them sort of just show up in their life after they’d made peace with being without a partner.

      And a guy who likes wears pink (it looks kinda purple to me, but that might just be my monitor) like it’s no big deal? Good stuff 🙂

      Aww! Good for you and A.! 😀 I guess I’m old-fashioned because going out to look for a boyfriend wasn’t something I considered. I think this is why I use the phrase “waiting for someone”. I’m a gatherer, not a hunter. hehe

  7. I wonder what adventures 2010 will hold! And, I love that dress. Be sure to wear that dress when you’re having your 2010 adventures. And then take more gorgeous photos of the two of you.

    The Rocket Scientist was my first boyfriend, and I waited until I was 25 to date him! It sounds corny, but I always thought it was important for me to really be happy with myself and my life just the way it was before I started dating, so I was never looking for someone. Then one day I woke up and decided it was time to start dating, and that I should date him. So I made him be my friend, and then my boyfriend. I’m bossy like that.

    Hahaha! –> “So I made him be my friend, and then my boyfriend. I’m bossy like that.” You make it sound like he had no choice! I bet he was relieved that you ‘bossed him’ into it. I bet he was waiting all along… (wink!)

    And being happy with yourself and your life before delving into dating isn’t corny. It’s really the best for yourself and your beloved that you love yourself. 🙂

    • Katie says:

      I think I railroaded him a little, but it all worked out 😉 And our first date? Watching the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice while drinking chocolate milkshakes. I knew he was a keeper!

      Awww! A man who appreciates Austen? A keeper indeed! 😀

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