Comment Complaints and Cussing (Finally)

Another week of wacky weather.  Cloudy… Partially Cloudy… Rain and Snow… Windy… Partially Cloudy.  Family and friends have been telling me how lucky I was because it was getting very hot and humid again back home after a short hiatus.

Today, I’m a little sluggish and bloated, and when I’m feeling like this, I really am not up to taking pictorials or blogging.  I just read up on my favorite blogs and comment, not out of obligation, but of a desire to keep up with ‘friends’.  Well, bloggers are not exactly my buddies but starting out in a new place and staying home most of every day of the week, comment-conversing with them has become something I looked forward to.  I always leave comments on blogs I enjoy but, I don’t know about you, and surely this is just how I was brought up, it pleases me when the bloggers reply even just to thank me for dropping by.

I say something, you say something.

It’s just common courtesy.

I like it when people comment on my blog.  Some are family, friends, and really cool former students.  But others are strangers or bloggers I met in the blogosphere.  Whoever they are, I reply to each and every one of them.  Again, common courtesy and sincerely being happy they dropped by.  But more than that, I truly want to connect with people.  I never leave comments on blogs that don’t strike a chord in me.  Why should I presume that the strangers who comment on my blog don’t feel the same way?  Surely, for that reason alone, they deserve a response from me.

Yes, I know some people just leave comments on blogs so people will read theirs.  But I don’t do that.  I’d love for people to read my blog, but I won’t leave some insipid comment (“Nice outfit!”, or “Cool!”, or “Awesome!”) on someone’s blog just so that they’ll visit mine.  Comments like that don’t represent my character or personality, even, and I’d be quite ashamed to leave something insincere anywhere.

There was this popular blogger I used to admire for her recycled fashion but I’ve long removed her from my links list.  Her posts would always have this poll at the bottom asking readers to vote whether they liked the project or not, or planned to make it themselves.  Once, she wrote a post complaining why they just answered the poll and never left her a comment. Wait.  Maybe I know why!  I’ve left her a couple of comments but stopped because she never responded even if I asked her a question.  It was just so narcissistic, all this comment craving and not reciprocating.  It’s all just me-me-me!

Why am I writing this?

I think I’ve been a wee bit pissed off recently by everything blogging.  I felt some weirdness with this other blogger who I used to enjoy exchanging comments with.  To make a long boring story short, I left what I thought was a funny but innocent comment on one of her posts, and she responded but didn’t sound amused.  I was a bit thrown off since, from the tone of her writing, I thought she’d be someone who’d appreciate a joke like that.  I was wrong, obviously.  Maybe it’s paranoia but I felt a difference between our exchanges nowadays. it could really just be all in my mind.  But because of that incident, there has been less joy in blogging of late.  I was supposed to take a pic of my Chinese New Year outfit last Saturday but I thought, well, fuck it.  I don’t feel like it anymore and I’m not going to just because I mentioned in my last post that I would.

Tut-tut, Miss Liz.  Such angst.

Anyway, read my blog, don’t read my blog.  Whatever.  I thought it would be fun starting conversations and exchanging ideas.  It still could be but don’t leave a comment if you don’t mean what you say. Because I’LL always mean what I say.

This is the angry part of me signing off.  Hopefully for a long time.


11 thoughts on “Comment Complaints and Cussing (Finally)

  1. patricia c. says:

    I feel the same way!!! I stopped blogging because I felt so bad about it but I’m glad someone spoke out and it makes me feel I’m not alone in feeling that way. Maybe I will start blogging again now. Thankss!

    Hi, Patty. Thank you for sharing and I do hope you start blogging again. Don’t let the negative stuff get to you. Let me know when you’ve started again, ok? 🙂

  2. Ah, I get down on these issues too sometimes. For me personally, with very few exceptions, I try to reply to every single comment I get, and I try to visit the blogs of my regular commenters (not even as a manner of courtesy, I am genuinely interested in who comes to visit me!), all which takes more time and work than I would have suspected. So I understand why bloggers bigger than me don’t do that. However, I think commenting also takes a lot of work in a different way (if you make something besides the somewhat content-less “awesomes!” and whatnot) — I have a couple hundred blogs in my reader and could never comment on all of them, so I pick the ones I love the most, the ones I relate to the most, the ones I admire, and try to comment on *those* at least regularly. And that also takes way more time than I would have suspected! 🙂 So it is really discouraging when some of those people never reply back, you feel like the friendly gestures and conversations you’ve tried to start have been completely ignored. That makes me wonder why I’m even commenting, or even writing sometimes. I usually just try to remind myself that I do mostly write my fashion blog for myself, to keep track of my wants, reviews and style evolution, and whether or not anyone visits in the end is kind of irrelevant — that I have regular readers/commenters at all is something that kind of amazes me sometimes and that I should feel flattered about I think 🙂 Anyhow, I’m rambling — just wanted to let you know I can relate!

    I agree. The business of blogging, commenting and keeping up with other blogs one loves, takes up a lot of time. I understand when popular bloggers can’t reply to every comment. (Though I’m amazed that you can. 😀 ) But that blogger I referred to who complained about nobody commenting and just answering polls seemed a bit demanding considering she’s never responded to the few who did leave messages.

    I think what irks and, yes, hurts is when a blogger responds to some, skip yours , responds again, then skips again… I get a little paranoid and read through the ones she’s skipped and responded. There wasn’t anything particularly different about how we commented. We, whom she ignored, weren’t rude or insipid. We didn’t even leave a “check out my blog!” tail at the end. Maybe she’s friends with the others and not us. It’s her blog and she can do as she pleases, of course. Still, like you, I have a lot of blogs bookmarked but only frequent a chosen few. It does take time even just to visit those, read, and leave a comment. Sometimes, when I’ve been ignored a few times, I ask myself what’s wrong with me? It’s true. I “feel like the friendly gestures and conversations you’ve tried to start have been completely ignored”.

    I’m not being snarky, but am I selfish for wanting my existence to be acknowledged?

    Then I remember why I write about and document my life, and I move on but not without doubts.

    Thanks for stopping by, Anjali! 🙂

  3. Oh Liz, I understand you. I don’t know what to say to people who just leave a “cool” or “nice” in the comments. And I don’t like when people insist I take a look at their blog. But I’m a lazy blogger. And a difficult one too.
    You know I really like your previous blog, and your current one!

    Modobs, I consider you my longest blogger friend. I was really happy that you kept your blog up, you know. I visited the others in my blogroll and most of them have been deleted or silent. I have always enjoyed your views and am amazed you never run out of ideas and questions in the quest for love. 🙂 Thanks!

  4. hi dear! just wanted to drop a quick comment because I know I’m so slack at it as a rule. the truth is, most of the blogs I visit these days are food-related, but when I do visit yours (or anyone else’s for that matter,) I tend to stay silent. I guess I never really thought about the give and take, because I do try to be careful to answer questions and thank people for their kindness – but this post certainly opened my eyes to an inconsideration I hadn’t considered. thank you for being so honest (and I love the way you write, your tone is so honest and endearing) – I will be sure to speak up in your comments section more frequently!

    xo aud

    I can’t tell you what your visit here means to me, Audrey. Wait. I’m trying to find the words…

    Honestly, though I was looking forward to having my blog inspiration drop by, I didn’t mind that you hadn’t commented on my blog yet because you always replied to my emails. I wanted to know what you think about the necklace I made inspired by you but I didn’t want to invite you to look in via your comments section because it seems a bit disingenuous to me, like I just want free publicity or something like that. I don’t know if you have seen it, and I have inkling that if you had, you’d probably be too shy to comment. Finally, I get to invite you now.

    I know you didn’t set out to inspire people but you do. It’s not just about outfits and food. It’s about this positive-happy-kindness-lightheartedness that your words exude. Thank you for that. 🙂

  5. cato says:

    i used to blog myself. on multiply. (actually, it was more like blogging in livejournal then just copy-and-paste to multiply) 🙂 but i was never adventurous enough to post many/most of my entries in the ‘for everyone’ setting. i’m still unsure about the thought of letting just anyone in to my innermost thoughts, feelings and struggles. then again, probably not many people will read my blog because i type out a LOT and there usually aren’t any pictures to accompany them. 🙂

    nowadays though, i spend a bit too much time on facebook games to have even a sliver of time for blogging. and i dunno. i just sort of lost the joy in blogging. so i’ve stopped for now. i started writing some short poems instead (weird exchange, i sometimes think). 🙂 and when i need to vent, i have a venting notebook at the ready.

    my other problem about blogging is that i can only do it when i get home because i don’t have a laptop and i spend most of the day out of the house. and sometimes by the time i get home, the thing that i had wanted to blog about had already flown out the window.

    i think my thoughts are kinda muddled up. or were jumping from here to there. sorry ’bout that. 😀

    ps. “I meant what I said and I said what I meant.” – Horton, from Horton Hears a Who 😀

    This isn’t my first blog, dearie. I had 3 at one time. One was for music and teaching; the other was all stories and poetry; and then I had one just for venting where I did the most interaction with other bloggers. I kept up with it for almost 2 years then I stopped. Partly because I went back to school but mostly because I got tired of it. I always regretted not keeping up the venting one because I already made a few friends that I actually missed when I quit.

    To be honest, I’d still rather write on paper than type on a keyboard. I have journals back home that I read like books, amazed at what I’ve written and have gone through. But keeping a journal would mean continuing to live in solitude, to be fiercely private, and unsociable just because, at the root of it all, I’m very shy.

    I guess what I’m saying is that even with blogging you need some kind of direction or else you’ll lose interest. Mine is trying to be less shy and facing my fear of looking at myself the way the world does.

    And, yes. I’ve noticed you’ve been playing a lot of Facebook games.:D I’m surprised you have time, what with your practicum!

      • cato says:

        i’ve actually kept a limit on the games. i visit them only once a day. while my gaming progress is slow because of that, it keeps me from being a slave to them. and there are days when i don’t visit them. i also quickly quit the games i get bored with. so that all my time isn’t wasted online. 🙂 and anyway, this second semester’s been a little strange, i think. most days (meaning if there aren’t rehearsals or performances), i get home at about 4 or 5. that’s already EARLY for me. so i have time to play. 😀 i just get stuck online if friends start to chat or i get stuck playing. but my friends only come online pretty late at night so i try to avoid going online after dinner.

        i believe that’s Horton’s motto. he lives by that quote. 🙂 it’s about the only line i really really remember from the movie. 🙂 it’s a cute movie. 😀

        Please don’t take this the wrong way but you really are your mother’s daughter! You’re both so disciplined! I remember when I got hooked on World of Warcraft, I could play for like 10 hours straight. So long that when I stop, I actually believe I can teleport to another part of the house or something. I’m standing there wondering, how come it’s not working? Then, Doh! I CAN’T.

        I’m not kidding.

        Oh I miss that game. It’s like coffee to me. But instead of my mouth watering at the sound of it, my hands itch for it. It’s great! Darn, now I want to play… 😦

        • cato says:

          actually, the ‘once a day’ rule only came about after much struggling and many frustrated days when i slept pretty late. oh with my mom bugging me about sleeping late as well. 🙂 i do get addicted to games but after a while, i force myself to control my addiction. it’s really unhealthy kasi eh. 🙂

          Hahaha! Yes, it is!

  6. Katie says:

    I hope it’s not one of us who has thrown you off…
    We love your blog and your style and your sass, and we’d be lonely if you left us!

    I think I’m just too sensitive and have to learn not to read between the lines too much. That and I’m having the blues.

    Thanks for the encouragement! Of course, you girls must know how much I value your blog as well.

    • I’m the Queen at reading between the lines! Especially once we started the blog, all the insecurities I’ve ever had raised their ugly heads. However, I beat them all back down with a baseball bat and am working hard at just letting things be. So far it’s working, but it gets to you sometimes, I know.

      That’s a hilarious image of you and the bat. I guess I need some practice batting the demons. 🙂 Thanks, Katie.

      • Millie says:

        Oh heavens, me too (with the blues and the insecurities and the unnecessary scrutiny). It all sort lurks around the edges, I find, and then all of a sudden WHOMP and you’re all grumpy about something which may or may not be actually there/intended. Fun times! Except not.

        Also, I’m pretty sure if we lived in the same vicinity we’d all hang out and do ridiculous things and have a blast. Maybe a round at a batting range with a bunch of cardboard cutout demons is in order?

        I know this sounds like a cliche but it’s really good to know that I am not alone in feeling insecure sometimes. I mean, you interrobang girls are all smart and doing what you love (I assume). I’m smart (but not humble, hehe) and I’m doing alright considering I stay at home all day for now. Sometimes I take it for granted and need people to remind me of what I have accomplished, but I have done a lot in my road-less-traveled life. Yet, look at us. We still get the blues and about blogging, for pete’s sake!

        Oh, it would be nice to hang out with you all. That batting range thing sounds like a great idea. It’s like an exorcism party. Hahaha! Thanks, Millie! 😀

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