Have you ever wished you were living someone else’s life while getting to keep your own?
Two years ago on, possibly, a really slow day, I hopped around listlessly from one site to another, jumping from blog to blog most certainly boring my brain into soup. And then, I don’t know how, but I ended up in this girl’s blog. And she fascinated me. She was wearing a purplish-grey sweater, lavender shorts, and mustard tights. MUSTARD TIGHTS.
Who in the world wears mustard tights? She does and her name is Audrey of the blog, homerunballerina. After seeing her picture, who else wanted to wear mustard tights? ME. As if dazzled by Mesmer, I read all her entries in one night. From what I gathered, and my sleuthing skills ain’t great, Audrey is a studying to be a chef. A pastry chef, most likely. Her blog features pictures of her tongue-tantalizing creations. It is so very obvious that cooking is her passion. She has a charming Hepburn-esque style while boldly combining colors like a magical rainbow fairy. And she clothes herself with thrift store finds, self-altered vintage treasures, and the occasional splurge from Anthropologie, Etsy, and other established shops. I’ve always wanted to be Audrey Hepburn. But now I wanted to be just like her namesake, this quirky-lovely homerunballerina, and walk around like a prism of happiness.
Of course, I can’t BE Audrey. As much as I am in love with her bold color choices and Hepburn style, I am the type of girl who gravitates towards black. And also, more black. When I was an awkward teen, I was clueless in color choices. I bought the most color-blocked garb I could find because, hey, this was in the 80’s and, aside from the lacy black Madonna trend, hideous color blocks in uncomfortable spandex-polyester blend dominated the stores.
I never felt like I was wearing my clothes back then because they screamed and didn’t hug me enough. It was akin to having a loud monkey on my back hurling half-eaten bananas and feces at everyone. It felt like the clothes were wearing ME, and undoubtedly aided in magnifying my social ineptitude.
In college, where I took up music composition, I experienced my first all-black outfit, a sort of the uniform for us music students. There was something safe about black that I liked. During a performance, it kept me hidden in the background ensuring music the undivided attention of the audience. Black is also a bit lazy. When we plan for a performance and the question of costume comes up, almost always we agree that anything will do as long as it’s black. Non-music majors would eye me around campus and think, there goes another tortured artist parading her dark demons around. Actually, because I performed a lot, black made up most of my wardrobe and it seemed practical to wear the outfits on regular days in school.
I’m a bit like Audrey because I love, love, love thrift stores! They are treasure troves if one is willing to look beyond is obvious and conceive its potential. I enjoy repairing the torn and tattered because I hate wastefulness. I love making something old into something new and unique. I don’t mind making mistakes, as in, “oops, I shouldn’t have cut that sleeve!”, because I believe that if you fail now, you salvage what you can and think of an alternative.
I can’t be like Audrey but I am inspired by her. Although black makes up a huge bulk of my closet staples, I’ve started picking bold-color pieces. As long as black covers 60% of my body, I am now brave enough to add to my outfit some yellow, purple, blue, and red, a hue I’ve always found daunting. And, because I’ve relocated and now live in refrigerator city, I can finally wear all the tights I want. And, yes, colorful ones. Mostly purple. I love purple tights.
Not to sound stalker-ish, I wrote Audrey once asking her permission to post her pictures in my blog. She replied so sweetly, just as I imagined, and said I certainly could. That was many months ago, before she found her new job and way before her beloved proposed to her. But I never got around to doing it. I stopped blogging and reading blogs because I was undergoing a life-altering change myself. It’s a comfort to return to her blog now and find that she’s still there, still living a charmed life, still as quirky and brave and sweet as ever, and still very much an inspiration.
Here’s to you, Audrey! I wish for you a fulfilling and love-filled 2010. Cheers!