You’re walking aimlessly along the aisles of your favorite store when suddenly it catches your eye: THE hat of your dreams. The cloche you’ve been coveting! The fedora you’ve been fawning over! The beret you’ve been begging for! The — OK, you get the picture. With Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet theme wafting in the background, you scoop it up from the display stand and, in pure ecstasy, lay it on your head expecting a magnificent crown.
Instead it swallows your head like a hungry living rag. (Trombones: ngwak-ngwak-ngwaak…)
No worries! I can think of 3 things you can do to make that new hat snuggy-hug your head.
IDEA # 1: Wear a thinner hat under your new hat.
I actually did this once. My outfit demanded my new hat so I wore a skullcap under it. It worked fine until I took my hat off when I got indoors. The top part of my hair stuck to my head like a magnet while the ends appeared as if they were trying to get away. No amount of fluffing could bring back its body and bounce. I had to endure the rest of the night looking like I had a bell-shaped head.
Verdict: Not recommended. Unless you really do have a bell-shaped head and want the hair to go along with it.
IDEA # 2: Insert folded strips of paper inside the rim lining of your new hat.
This I’ve tried, too. But on someone else’s hat. And as a joke. And he got mad. And we’re still not speaking. I’m just kidding… about that past part.
And it worked! Giggling, I watched him from a distance trying to force his hat on and then taking it off and wondering if his head had gotten bigger while he slept. He did this several times before realizing what I had done. Wanting to relive his embarrassment, I tried it on my own hat thinking it could be a great way to make a loose hat fit. But, though it did fit more snugly, I felt strange about having all that vacant space hovering inside the hat. My head felt somewhat … gassy. Plus, when I removed the hat, the fattened rim made a band mark on my forehead.
Verdict: Good only as a prank. And only if you’re prepared to lose a friend.
IDEA # 3: Make it last forever: sew a second lining inside your new hat.
This is actually the point of my post. (Stay on the path, you!)
My hubster bought me this lovely cloche.
It was on sale possibly because only a klingon’s large cranium can enjoy it’s wide girth and they haven’t been shopping much lately (because of the recession, har-de-har!). Inspired by ideas # 1 and 2, I wanted it anyway with the intention of sewing a light skull cap on the cloche as a second lining. One cloche, two linings — perfect for freakishly cold Georgia nights! It’s easy, too. If your hat badly needs a make-over (or rather, a make-inner — heehee!), go on to part 2.